With suspicious eyes that have been looked into and lied to
By another who said the same things you do - This is how I see you

Through kaleidoscopic dreams and survival fantasies of a lonely boy
Still inside me - This is how I see you

We can be each other's good Dad
Lover, brother, best friend
When I see you clearly I know that's true
And this is how I see you

Tinted all in green through a haze of jealousy when we compete
And it seems I lose - This is how I see you

As a threat to my own soul should you come to know the me I believe
To be unlovable - This is how I see you

Brother I'd love to do it that way
And not even talk about it
I know you come from the good old days
But these days there's no way around it

I know it ain't all selfishness
You want this little brother to know what it's like
To fuck without nothing but sweat between us
But something as simple as a naked penis
Ain't simple anymore

Maybe if we talk a little
It might be even better
And we won't have to wonder later
Did we hurt the other

I know it ain't all just my fear
I want to know who you are
Then when you take me home
You will thrill me to my bone
When we have sex with our souls

SoulSex Pt. II Essence

Maybe what seems cruel
Is but the universe's test for us
Can we sacrifice for the brother we love
That which has been our bond

For we come now to a time in our history
Where to love your brother means
To not give him your seed
Ohhh

But we can still be powerful
Connected and complete
We can fill each other still
Give and receive
When we have sex with our souls

For it is not the blood or the cum
That ever has been sacred
The essence of our being
We can still exchange
When we have sex with our souls

On a humid afternoon when I was 15
I tied a rope around a rafter in our garage
Because I couldn't help the way I felt in my skin
And I knew that everyone thought it was wrong

So don't tell me to be discreet

And I did not safely step down off that ladder
For my mom or dad or priest or friends at school
In fact they are why I had climbed up on it
Truth is I was too scared to follow through

Don't grill me about monogamy
and my shameless promiscuity

My legs were shaking so bad I could not stand
So I lay down on the concrete floor and cried
I burned hot with shame for having failed
I burned hot with shame for having tried

Don't compare me to some muscle queen
And find me lacking
I know I'm not the boy in your fagazine
Nor do I want to be

I lay there at the bottom of my life
'til the coolness of the concrete calmed me down
In the time it took my last tear to dry
I realized the freedom I had found

If you're jumping off a cliff
Why not fly?

And while we're at it -
Don't absolve me
Don't justify me
By insisting:

It's not a choice
It's genetic
God made him that way
Hypothalamus?
There are gay animals!
It's not a choice

What if it is?
Who else gets to choose
Who I'm going to be
And what I do with my body
I chose a long time ago
to get up off that concrete floor and fly…